With today being the last day October, we all know we are soon approaching November. I have made many changes in my life the last few months and maybe someday I will regret what I have done but for now it is going good and make me a little more at ease. I have started cutting people from my family out of my life, What can I say I am sick of being put down and I am an adult...
I am an adult and I can make my own choices and I plan on not allowing the negative into my life. I guess the hardest thing I had to do is cut out my mother, but I can't handle the thought of her putting me down for the rest of my life. I am the only one in my family who made something out of themselves and I am the one she gives the most grief. Why because she is not happy and she wants me to feel as bad as she does.
My dad was my only encouragement he told me to go to school and get out of the factory and I know that if he was here he would be happy for me. I just will keep living and try to block out the negative in my life any way I have to. Sometimes tough love hurts so much you can't stand it, but sometimes it is the the only way.
What has 2009 brought Dale and I
We have had a lot of progress on our beautiful home. It is very exciting to see so much progress over the year. Maybe in 2010 we will be living in our new home, hope is all I can say. And maybe 2011 we might plan a family. Just up in the air..
In March, a great person close to my heart past away, he was a great person and fabulous to be around, he just lit up the room when he was around. We all sure miss Bob.
Then in May, I found my heart was not doing so good and I went for an echo cardiogram and an ultra sound of my heart and found my heart was not as progressive as they had hoped, but something they told me didn't make any since. So being the nurse that I am I looked into to it more. To me my heart looked fine. They told me I had a 60% ejection fraction which is never good. With this kind of news I didn't want to believe that my heart was that bad. Was it really that bad, and when I came home from the doctor I told Dale that I am not sure what is going on, but I don't think they know what they are talking about. I was heart broken and thought oh my goodness is this really happening again to me. I thought for sure my luck was really bad but when I thought about I knew deep down inside that it couldn't be true. But, I didn't do anything about it until they called to say they wanted to do the surgery on my heart. At that moment a red flag went up. I said what the heck, seriously it looked fine and why would they want to do a surgery on a perfectly good heart. At that moment I called my cardiologist and made an appointment to see him, and after that appointment I was so happy because he confirmed my diagnosis. There was absolutely nothing wrong with my heart my thyroid was slowing down, and he put me on thyroid medication and now I am perfectly fine. I learned to follow my gut feeling and believe in my self. Other wise I could have been under the knife, for a missed diagnosis, thank god every day for double checking with my cardio doc.
In June, Brittany moved out of our home and moved into an apartment with her boyfriend. I am so happy she graduated but hope she can keep her life straightened out. She is an amazing girl but has no common since or reality on the future or real life issues.
In August, Dale and I went on an amazing vacation, something I will never forget. We have so much fun together and it is amazing how wonderful Dale and i get along. I know our love is so strong we can withstand anything.
In September, My brother started a new life with his new wife and started a family. She is a great woman for him and I am happy she is part of the family.
Then in October, nothing too major happen and now we are moving into a new month of November which has been the hardest month for me since 1999, the year my father past away.....
